Play for Life

2012-01-30T14:15:00.000-08:00

Happy National Flirting Day!

Or as I like to call it. . ."Happy Flirt With Your Husband While He's Out Of Town and You're Home Day." Yes, hubby and I text flirt. Do you flirt with your betroved this way? Hubby and I are known to blow a kiss or two at each other, but it doesn't really go beyond that. Anyway--enjoy your day and flirt with someone today!

When will Taylor County get it?

2012-01-14T09:27:00.001-08:00

I try very hard to stay off my soap box, but every now and then I can't help it. Tonight is one of those nights. I am on my way back to Wisconsin after being in DC for a few days and I finally had the opportunity to read a book which has been begging to be read, Ghosts from the Nursey. The soapbox I want to get on is about prevention. I want wealthy people in Taylor County, Wisconsin to wake up and start putting their money in a place that will do some REAL good.....home visitation.

So why the soapbox after reading this book? Because it adds more fuel to the argument I have been making for a long time. Child development and teaching starts long before a child enters preschool. It starts at home. It starts during pregnancy. And, yes, it starts with the parents.

Frequently, abuse breeds abuse and crime breeds crime. It is natural for parents to parent how they were parented, even when they intend not too and this why intervention through a home visitation program is so important. There is so much research demonstrating the difference that early intervention can make, yet funding is sucked away from these programs.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised since we live in such a now, now, now society. When will those with the power to give money figure out that todays infants could be tomorrows criminals......

I implore you all, invest in Early childhood programs. Invest in quality home visitation programs. Invest in programs that stregnthen family relationships, because, if you really want children to be ready for school they have got to have the social and emotional stuff down.

Where the hell is everyone going?

2012-01-12T10:08:00.001-08:00

I have spent the past four days in Washington, D.C. for work. I learned a lot about the grant I manage and I also learned that people in D.C. seem to always be in a hurry. It really did not seem to matter when I was out exploring, or in which part of city, people were in a rush everywhere I went. This made me wonder, why? Doesn't any one give themselves enough time to get anywhere? I cannot stand rushing. I like to take my time. I like to explore and people watch. Knowing this about myself I leave early enough so I don't have to run down escalators or nearly plow over the people going through a cross walk. Slow down citizens of D.C. Take time to enjoy the beauty and diversity present in your city.

The weight of it all

2012-01-09T10:51:00.001-08:00

My husband partied more than the average bear when he was younger and I have had my share of substance use before my thirties. When you pair that with how reactive and highly sensative I am, the thought of conceiving a child is down right scary. Especially after I have begun to read, Ghosts from the Nursery (Karr-Morse and Wiley, 1997).

As a Parent Eductor, college level educator, and Ph.D. candidate in the Early Child field, I felt as though I was pretty educated on the effects of prenatal stress and neurotoxins. What I did not know, and frankly am quite concerned about, is effect that prior useage can have on the ability to conceive and the possible effects upon the unborn baby even at conception.

Are my husband wrong for wanting to conceive, despite our issues in our teens and twenties? My husband already has fears about us even conceiving. I brushed them off at first but I am beginging to think he knew the research already.......

2011 in review. . .

2011-12-28T12:38:00.000-08:00

As I say good-bye (and good riddens) to 2011, I'd like to recap what I did for the past year. In case you're interested. . I tend to a do a post like this every year. Here are my posts from 2007, 2008, and 2010. I guess I didn't have much to review in 2006 or 2009, since I didn't post one then! So here we go. . the top 10 things that happened in 2011.

10. There were WAY too many funerals to count this year. The most prominent funeral I had to attend was the death of my brother-in-law. Christmas with out him was hard for my family.
9. Hubby and I started a trucking company, Loucks Trucking LLC. It has been a new, and interesting, world being a business own and the wife of a truck driver. I will not pretend it has been easy. Not having my husband at home has really taken some getting used to!
8. As part of the Loucks Trucking LLC adventure, Hubby and I went on a trip to Texas, Arizona, Colorado, Utah, and New Mexico. We picked up our 40 ft. flatbed trailer, enjoyed a little bit of vacation, and brought our first load home: Four Cadillacs of the same year, to be used in a demo derby. We were asked, repeatedly, if we were planning on restoring them.
7. We had some horses come and go. We sent "Tinker the Stinker" off to the auction. Sadly, she only brought in 45.00. The horse market is not good right now. It is a GREAT time to buy some wonderful horses for very little, but it is a bad time to try and make any money! We also returned Shilo to my Dad's place and ended up being gifted a very old mare named Meg. Meg has been a great addition to our family. . . however, our feed costs are astronomical!
6. I have settled into my role as Bonus Mamma. Every day gets easier. Some days are tougher than others.
5. I have added Weight Watchers Leader to my list of part time jobs!
4. I wrote my first large-scale grant. I didn't receive it and I was very disappointed, but I learned a lot.
3. Hubby and I made it through our first year of marriage. There were some who said that we should not have married so quickly. Some who think I cheated on D. Some who really wanted to bash the man I married. They have all been wrong.
2. I dropped a very large trailer ramp on my foot and was taken to the hospital, for the first time ever, for a suspected broken foot.
1. The most exciting news of 2011 is that Hubby and I have decided that we've like to have a child of our own.

What will 2012 bring? I'm not sure, but I do know that I am thankful for each day I get to spend with my family. I am thankful for the friends I've made in 2011 and the friendships I've nurtured.

The first disappointment

2011-12-19T19:01:00.000-08:00

It has been almost a month since I've had my Mirena removed. The removal was relatively painless, however, I did have some pretty severe mood swings that first week it was out. I'm not sure if that is typical or not, but, wow, I was a bear. Hubby was a trooper though. He went to appointment with me for removal and was good through the moodswings!

Anyway. . .on Sunday, I had an incident where I dropped a very heavy ramp on my foot and had to go to the hospital to see if it was broken or not. When I was asked at the x-ray station if I could be pregnant, I stated I wasn't sure and explained why.

At any rate, I was wisked away for a preganancy test before my x-rays. Hubby and I were pretty certain it wasn't likely to be positive--after all, it wasn't even quite a month yet. But. . .one never knows! We were a little disappointed to learn that I was not pregnant. No worries--my doc says that it can take up to a year for my body to get back to normal. . . so we'll see what happens. . .

In the mean time. . . . I've started looking for baby supplies that are not genderspecific (like slings and such).

A little perspective

2011-11-28T10:59:00.000-08:00

Life is all about perspective, isn't it? I mean from Hubby's perspective, I'm a pretty darn great step mama to his children and a super wife! He says I'm so super that he has surprised himself in the decision that he'd like to PLAN a child with me. The bonus babies might have a different perspective about me and so might their mother. When it comes down to it--I cannot control how any of them feel about me, nor can I control how anyone else feels about me. What I CAN control is my reaction to others. I MUST learn to get a grasp on my own emotions because when I allow my happiness to be determined by others, I am giving up my own control. There is no one person who has made this more evident to me than Dr. Becky Bailey. I've read of her work, particularly when I was a Head Start teacher. However; now, more than ever, I find her work meaningful. I think of what I've learned over the years as I look at myself as a Step Parent, Wife, and supervisor, and can see that knowing and doing are two very different things.

Ride number 2

2011-11-20T05:30:00.000-08:00

Some of you may remember wedding gift from Hubby, Cutie #1, and Cutie #2, Legend. Although still a stud, he's an absolute doll. We're planning to geld him in the spring, for we know that a kind, gentle Stud is always a kinder, gentler Gelding! He loads into the trailer like a dream, stands nicely for the ferrier, allows Cutie #2 (who is 5) to handle his hooves and lead him around, tacks up calmly, lounges, and has had around four folks on his back. He's had ride number 1 (very brief with a very light person) and now we're gearing up for ride number two. Hubby and I don't know a whole lot about him (he was a rescued by a gal from a horse hourder who then sold him to Hubby), but we do have a pedigree for him. He's not even two yet, so our training sessions are brief and (hopefully) fun for him.

We intend to keep Legend forever (as cheesy as that sounds), so our goal is for him to be gentle enough for our grandchildren to enjoy (when the day comes that we have them!). I fell in love with him when I saw his pictures on the sale forum, hubby and kids picked him up for me, and he will always be part of our family. Although I enjoy a good ride as much as the next horse lover, I get the most enjoyment out of working with the young horses and getting on their back for that first ride.

This training experience has been a wonderful for Cutie #1 to learn some proper horse handling and riding techniques. We read excerpts from some of my favorite trainers' (Cherry Hill, Ray Hunt, and Tom Dorrance) books and will talk about what each author means in his or her writing.

Now, as Hubby and I think about bringing a Cutie #3 into our family, I am scouring the internet for all things Pregnancy related--including the best equestrian theme maternity clothes. So far, I've found NOTHING! Help me out here, horse lovers! There's got to be something. . . .

Thank you, fellow Step-Mamma's!

2011-11-15T19:37:00.000-08:00

I want to thank Grace and Sue for stopping by and giving me a a little boost. Your words meant a great deal to me. It helps to know there are many who have experienced some of the same emotions as I am going through right now. Somedays I feel so secure in my role as Step Mamma. Others--not so much. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who talks through most of this stuff with me, but sometimes I just need the input and wisdom from someone who really gets how this feels.

The Me Book

2011-11-14T09:08:00.000-08:00

This morning, Hubby, bonus boy, and I worked on his "all about me book." This activity was emotional for me and I cannot figure out why. It just tore me up to see those baby pictures with bonus boy and his mom. I don't know why. When it comes to my bonus children, I get that I am NOT Mom. I WILL NOT replace Mom. Maybe it's all a reminder of the life that was before (and after. . since Hubby and I were high school sweet hearts) me. I don't know. I feel like such a nut case at times. I want to do the right thing for these kiddos and I know that means being strong!

Sometimes thinks things were easier before she started reading Step-Mom stuff

2011-11-11T10:51:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I think my journey of step mom was so much easier when I didn't read the Step mom stuff on line. What stuff do I mean? Magazines, blogs, websites, facebook pages, support groups. . . you name it, all marketing toward the strange life of the step mom. I read so much contradictory information about what is and is not appropriate.

When I first started dating my husband, it seemed so easy. I am HIS girlfriend and HE happens to have been married before and has two great kids. I was nothing more than Dad's girlfriend.   Now I'm Dad's wife and a step mom. Research shows that remarriages with children are 71% likely to end in divorce. I'll be honest, I think I was better off when I didn't know that statistic.

Some information states that I should butt out no matter what. After all, these are NOT my children. I did not create them, and push come to shove, I have NO legal obligation to them.  Other references state that I should work hard to be a partner with the kids Mom. We should learn to work together and should get along.

It should be simple but it's just not.   I am fully aware that I will NEVER be the kids mom. They don't need a mom, they have a mom already. What's difficult for me is that my tendency is to mother all children. It's just my way. If YOUR kid came to my house, I'd "mother" him or her too. I'm a kid person and relate well to children. . .thus whyI am in the line of work I am. The difference? My step kids live with me half the time.  I am not living one of those step parent situations where I only my step children every other weekend or something like that. I have been in their lives half the year for the past two years. It's very hard to draw that line and just stop mothering them.

I know it is very ackward for their Mom to see me at events. I participate in T-Ball, school programs, and attend parent-teacher conferences. Many people will tell you this is wrong or weird or just plain not okay. My husband asks that I attend and since, I'm not married to kid's mother and she is not my friend, I guess, to be honest, I don't really care if she feels ackward. The feeling is mutual. It is ackward for me too.

Part of me thinks that it would be best for everyone if I just did not participate in things related to the kids. After all, some of the research states this is what should happen since I am not their mother. Yet, I would feel very sad if this were to happen and so would my husband. The kids and I have a good relationship and they have stated they miss me when I am not around. So, I am guessing they would be upset if I did not attend things either.

I feel sad for my step children because they did not ask for this. They did not ask for Mom and Dad to get divorced and to have go back and fourth between houses. They did not ask for Mom to have boyfriends and for Dad to get remarried. I work very hard to be sensitive all the feelings involved. . and this is part of the complexity that my world has become.

Here is a blog I enjoy. . . and speaks to the complexity of the step parenting issue: http://thegrownupchild.ca/

Next Thursday. . . .

2011-11-11T10:34:00.000-08:00

So--next Thursday is the doctors appointment. After that. . let the baby making begin!

Approximately 3 years ago today. . .

2011-11-07T12:22:00.000-08:00

Wow--how things have changed over 3 years. What a roller coaster the past few years have been. I went from, I won't get married to I left-my-boyfriend-of-12-years-and-now-marrying-my-highschool-sweet-heart! Or better yet, from, "NO BABIES!!!!" to "Hubby and I are PLANNING (now THERE'S a novel idea) to have a baby!"

So--what else has changed? Read on, my friends, read on. . .

WORK: Three years ago, I was working for CAP SERVICES Head Start. Now, I work for the Parent Resource Center of Taylor County, Indian Head Community Action Agency, Rasmussen College, and Weight Watchers International.

FAMILY: Well, I went from no children to two wonderful bonus babies. I am a proud, proud, proud Step-mamma, and I am trying hard to gracefully balance being a good step- mamma and good wife. I have found step parenting more challenging than I EVER expected--espeically when the bonus babies' mother lives less than 10 miles from my home. I am working hard to have a good relationship with the kids' mom and have found the NO ONE'S the BITCH website to be quite helpful.

Pretty funny!

2011-10-28T14:40:00.001-07:00

I shout out to my fellow blogger, Rory Grant! Your blog ROCKS!

One of THOSE Mammas. . . .

2011-10-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

I already know I am going to be one of THOSE mammas. . . .what do I mean by that? I mean one of those Mammas who knows more than she should about how young children develop and learn. I already have all of these notions about what is and is not appropriate because of my education and line of work. This is a good thing in some ways. I know I will be VERY prepared for pregnancy and caring for a child of my own. Of course, knowing and doing are two very different things. . . . It's a bad thing because I will become one of those Mammas who are a little too concerned about doing EVERY THING right.

I know I need to let go of this right now. I will not do everything right. There will be lots of learning happening and I will likely make many, many child rearing mistakes. No one is perfect and, as the hubby says, "perfection is BORING. . ." Too bad my husband married a "type a" sort of gal who tends to try and over acheive on just about everything. . . LOL.

Are any of you one of THOSE Mammas? If so, were you always that way?

The Baby Journey

2011-10-27T17:06:00.000-07:00

So. . . I got news, among all this sadness, that H is thinking about a baby for us. Here's a little TMI for you all: I was on Depo-Provera for almost 12 years and then, because my ex was very explicit about his desire to not have children, I almost got my tubes tied. At the last minute, I could not go through with it--after going through several hoops to prove that a woman under 30, with no children, was a good candidate. After all those years, I thought I had convinced myself that I did not want children. . only to find out my brain was telling me otherwise. Instead I opted for Mirena IUD, which is a semi-perminent option. My body will be expected to return to normal after 12 mos from Mirena removal. We can technically begin "trying" to conceive after three mos from removal. I will admit, I am a little worried that after 12 years of depo and then three years of Mirena, that I will not be able to become pregnant. Time will tell. . . . and soon the adventure will begin.

Here's to you Mr. Loucks

2011-09-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

This week has been a rocky one for my family. Last Thursday, my brother in law passed away and the world will never be the same with out him. Then, over the weekend another relative of mine passed on too. Two funerals in one week. Not cool. I have been spending a lot of time with my mother in law and other family members on my husband's side of the family. This has been of great comfort me but I think it has been helpful for them, as well.

All this death has caused me to think about the little moments I have with my family. To cherish all the good that pokes up in this stressful, crazy world. It makes me thankful I FINALLY found a man worthy of the term "husband." Despite the sadness that is around me right now, I feel blessed. I have a WONDERFUL family. I have a HOME and five great "four-legged babies," as hubby and I call them (three horses, one pony, and a dog). I have two SUPER bonus children, who are lovely in every way. And now, the creme de le creme, I have received news that hubby wants to have a baby. Never in a million years did I think I would hear those words. . . . .

Baby talk round 2. . . .

2011-07-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I have had quite a few baby talks over the past few weeks. We have the great relationship where we talk about every thing. . even if the talk is no fun. I said to him one day, "I think I'd like to start seeing a shrink." He said. . "Well, if you think you need to, but I would like to think you can share anything with me. . ." I told him, "You might regret saying that." I thought he would get sick of our "non-psychologist-psychologist talks" (which is my term for a talk that I would have with the shrink, if I had one), but he is great. He gives me insight and we talk about why I might be feeling a certain way about something. . . . such as the baby topic.

For those of you who know REALLY well, you know that my catch phrase for many years was "no babies!!!!" Then hubby and cutie #1 and #2 come along and as time progresses my catch phrase has become. . "maybe babies?!" The more H and I talk about this, the more I think he's on board with the idea that maybe some day we'll have our own together. Then. . .this week, he smiled at me and chuckled. I asked what he was chuckling at and he would not tell me until a few days later.

We were having a conversation about babies and why my "no babies" has gone from "mabie babies" to "I think I wanna be more than a step-mamma." He told me that he was chuckling because when we were talking the other night he actually thought about me as a mamma. He thought about what a little one of our own might look like and it made him smile.

While I know that right now is NOT the time to think about bringing a cutie #3 into the world, I know that H will be okay when the time happens. This was unbelievable comforting to me. He said, "I know you will make a great Mamma" and I just about burst into tears.

One year ago I was engaged to my highschool sweetie. . .

2011-07-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

So. . last night hubby and I watched Hot Tub Timemachine. It was a little weird, yes, but insanely funny. Made hubby and I think a lot about the "What if's" in life and what we would or would not change if given the opportunity. There was a line in the movie where someone said something to the effect of, "This girl's not your destiny she's just some girl you dated in high school." I asked my hubby, "Am I just some girl you dated in high school?" He slyly coos. . . "No. . . you THE girl I dated in highschool and THEN married!"

Hubby makes me smile becuase he always seems to know EXACTLY the right thing to say. He's one of those guys that is such a romantic, yet people who know him think I'm nuts when I say that! He's a good guy and I'm lucky to have found him again. :-)

While there are many things in my past that I would not change, mainly because those experiences are what made me the person I am, I would change that I waited so long to get back in touch with Hubby. I thought about him often as the years flew by and I wish I had acted upon those thoughts earlier. Perhaps, I was only ready to do so at the exact moment I did though.. . .and that leads me to think, it's probably better for me to stop thinking about all the things I could have done or regretting the choices I've made in the past and just enjoy now.

Mom, Tammy Graumann Ride, and other schmidt.

2011-05-16T06:42:00.000-07:00

Well, this is the time of year I really get thinkin about my Mom. She passed away in 99' from the EVIL "C" (i.e. Cancer) and I've been hell bent ever since to not end up down that same road. . . .which would be where the original desire to start working out and eating 'clean' several years ago came in. Anyhoo. . .with Mom's day this month. . I get a little teary when I think of the hell I put my mom through during my teenage years. I was a realtively good kid, but I definitely got into some pretty intense verbal matches with her.

This time of year also brings the Tammy Graumann Fight the Cancer Ride. This year was my first year and it was AWESOME. There is nothing like a bunch of motorcycle lovin' folks driving around to bring awareness to the EVIL C. We had a great time, despite the weather (cold and rain)! This was my first year on a motorcycle, let alone on a 100 mile ride. I-AM-HOOKED. The horses may finally have some competition.

Weight Watchers Revisited

2011-05-10T20:20:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it. . . .since leaving D I have not been quite as much of a sticker about WW. I stopped counting points officially (although I did it in my head) and have not been nearly as consistent with my exercise. I think part of the reason is because I'm bucking part of the fake life I lived for 12 years.. . . .but this is not the way to leave the past in the past. This is my health we're talking about here and NO way am I going back to the BEFORE days. I've maintained my loss, but I've considered stepping into the role of WW leader and I would not consider myself the best role model right at this minute. So. . . back to points counting! I KNOW it works, I've just been TOO lazy to keep doing it.

Here are some of MY favorite WW related blogs:
http://www.sherylyvette.com/
http://manmeetsscale.blogspot.com/2010/07/planes-trains-and-automobiles-getting.html
http://www.leadingtheweigh.com/

Date night, the baby talk, and 17 followers!

2011-05-05T10:49:00.000-07:00

17 of you are my "followers" and I'm not sure if I should jump for joy or feel sad for you all! ;-) Thanks for taking the time to read what I've got to say! I hope some of you will jump in with a comment for two from time to time.

Well. . . I had THE baby talk with Hubby. The talk where I explain that somehow I've got this urge to be a REAL mamma. To be a MOTHER instead of a bonus mom. It went better than expected. He told me he understood and he wasn't upset. What a Hubby I've got. I couldn't have asked for better!

Speaking of Hubbalicious, we've got a very nice date night planned for Friday. I am over the top excited. First we're going to a high school friend's wedding reception and then. . . some time alone in a hot tub. ;-) (Insert whistle here!) I feel giddy because Hubby and I sort of skipped that stage in our relationship. We pretty much went from, "Hey it's cool to see you again after 15 years of living our own lives" to "Here's a key to my house." We skipped some stages along the way. . .which, in any other situation, I would STRONGLY discourage. We knew we were taking a big risk, but both of thought it would just work out and, for us, it has. Anyway--because we skipped the dating stage of things, I get REALLY excited when we get to go on an actual date that does not involve (a) other family members, (b) children, (c) some type of needed errand like grocery shopping, farm supplies, or other random necessity. Don't get me wrong, I am so, so, so happy to do ANY of those things with my dear Hubby, but a date night is special. It is a time when we get to focus on EACH OTHER with no distractions. And, considering I am HIGHLY distractable, this is very important Now, hopefully, I can find just the right outfit to wear. . . . Any thoughts?!

Life in the Married Lane

2011-03-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

Today is my 5 month wedding anniversary! Big deal you might say, but I am love, love, loving being a wife. I like the step-mamma gig, although I have to admit, it is harder than I ever thought. Not because Cutie #1 and Cutie #2 are tough to work with. They are (in my professional opinion) just about the BEST bonus kiddos anyone could ask for. We get along very well and they seem to like me okay. I've been very surprised at how much I enjoy being a Step-parent, particularly because D and I never planned on having children. I do have a tough time not over stepping my role and I have to reel myself in because Cutie #1 and Cutie #2 already have their own Mom, whom they live with part of the time. I can only imagine how it must feel to her to know that her children do like me and consider me to be family (they have stated this to their father). They mentioned this in front of their Mom and she got very upset about it. It annoys me to know that she got upset about this in front of Cutie #1 and #2, but I also can understand her feelings. I think I would probably be upset if the roles were switched around.

The hard part has been dealing with Hubby's ex-wife. It's not hard because we aren't civil to each other. In fact, as far as dealing with ex's goes, I think Hubby's ex-wife is just dandy. I know how bad it can be working with ex's so, I'm pretty good with how things are with our whole situation. The hard part, is the emotional baggage that goes with our situation. I have to see and talk to her alot, which is very awkward to me. I have not ever been in this sort of situation before. I think it is really the whole idea that kids were created with someone Hubby no longer loves. It's tough for me because part of me thinks that I might actually want to have kids and Hubby definitely seems done with having more. He's told me he'd be happy if we did, but is definitely not wanting to plan a child at this point.

I find that sometimes I'm sad that I will not get to hear, "I love you, Mom" and I will not get to celebrate Mother's day. These emotions have really taken me by surprise, but they are there and they are real. It's tough for me to know that he and his ex have this connection that he and I will never have. I think part of me is a little bit envious of her for that. I wonder if these are normal feelings for someone who's married to someone who has been married before. . . or am I just a complete and total nut job. It's been tough for me because I want to have this conversation with Hubby yet there never seems to be a good time to have it. Perhaps I should ask Hubby to read my blog! LOL. Okay followers. . .what do you think? Have any of you been through this? Have any of you been the Mom whose ex-husband has remarried and now have to deal with someone like me?

My Super Duper Little Guy

2011-01-11T15:21:00.000-08:00

A couple of months before my wedding, Hubby, Cutie #1, and Cutie #2 presented me with a "tractor." Well this "tractor" of mine is now pushing about 11 months old and is just sweet as can be. My "tractor," as you can see, is a little buckskin colt named Legend. It was just about the cutest thing ever as Cutie #2 tried to convince me that Hubby-to-be had bought me a tractor!

Legend was my wedding gift from my new family and what a gift he has been. He's such a sweet little colt, it's almost a shame that I'll need to get him gelded soon. He's done such a wonderful job with having his feet picked up, blankets draped over his back, and even a light Pony saddle set on him. He ties well, leads nicely, and walks in and out of trailer with ease.

I am looking forward to lots of ground work over the next year so that my first ride will be pretty event-less. I sold all my horses (and equipment) during college, so I will have to buy a new sursingle and extra longe line so I can do some ground driving. This winter, we'll start some longeing work and then start the ground driving in the summer.

Almost that time of year. . .again!

2010-12-16T16:42:00.000-08:00

First off, I'm pretty excited that this meager little rambling spot of mine is up to 11 followers. Not a lot, true, but it's more than the three I had last year! ;-)

It's about that time when I do my "one year ago today" blog. . . and wow, what a year I've had. Here's what I was thinking about around this time last year. I can safely say that I was in a completely different spot then, than I am now. Wow. 2007 was a whole other ball of wax too.

Anyhoo--here's my year in review for 2010!
10. I left D after 12 years together. It was just plain time for me to move on.
09. I moved back to the area I grew up in.
08. I got horses again!
07. I'm still working on the Ph.D, although I will admit, I am not nearly as motivated as I should be when it comes to getting my school work done.
06. I started dating, got engaged, and married my old high school beau. Trust me, if you had asked me around this time last year if I thought that was going to happen, I would have told you that I thought you should go pee up a rope!
05. I am a proud, proud, proud step mamma. Again, not something I EVER thought I would come out of my mouth. Let me clarify, I always knew if I ever became ANY sort of a mamma, I would be proud. I'm of that sort that feels that parenting is the most important job someone can have. I just didn't think that I would EVER be doing ANY sort of parenting. . . . EVER
04. I no longer work for Head Start.
03. I started teaching some online Early Childhood Courses
02. Did I mention I got MARRIED?????
01. I feel as though I am finally where I am supposed to be. :-)

Special Day with Cutie #1

2010-08-18T12:38:00.000-07:00

I've planned to take off a few days this month so that I can have a special day here and there with each of Sweetie's children. Monday was my special day with Cutie #1. We spent the entire day with the horses, particularly her new little pony, Tinkerbell. It was a great time and I'm really looking forward to my special day with Cutie #2. :-)

I'm going try on wedding dresses next Friday and I'm really looking forward to that. This time I am bringing a friend along to help me with my selections.

Wedding dresses on Craigslist!

2010-08-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

I've begun to scour Craigslist for wedding dresses and was pleasantly surpised to all of the choices I had. I've found three that I like and will contact the sellers to see if they still have them. What do you think?

DRESS 1
DRESS 2
DRESS 3

Any suggestions for finding a dress CHEAP?

Dresses and Tears

2010-08-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

I've been starting to try on wedding dresses and, wow, what a roller coaster of emotions. For those of you who are married, did you go through an emotional experience when you tried on dresses? I tried on a beautiful A-Line strapless number and fell in love with it. It was in my price range and absolutely gorgeous. The catch? Lots of tayloring, which will put the dress out of my price range. On a positive note, I know what style of dress looks great on me (a-line, strapless) and which styles don't look so hot (just say, "NO" to the mermaid tail style)!

So I'm in Thelma's Bridal (they have been super helpful, by the way) trying on dresses, see myself in the mirror, and wow, the tears just wouldn't stop! When I tell Sweetie this, he says to me, "Crying cause you're depressed your're marrying me, huh?!" What a goof! The tears, I explained, were because I'm happy and thinking about that moment when he will see me in the dress and we say our vows. I was thinking about how much I love this man and how much I love his children. I was thinking about my mom and how she wouldn't be there (in person any way) that day, since she's been passed away since 1999. At that moment when I saw myself standing there, in that beautiful dress, I was just so overcome with emotion. Is this a normal experience or am I just a big softie?

I can't wait to be your wife

2010-08-06T07:23:00.000-07:00

I didn't think this would happen to me, but I definitely have wedding brain. Particularly, I have "wedding gown brain." I am not preoccupied with the planning process, after all, we don't even have a date set yet. But I am preoccupied with the thoughts of how that day will feel and the idea of being called "wife."
I love the idea of wifedom. I love how it sounds. I love the thought of two people making a promise to each other to care for and love each other no matter what--even through the hard times. I love the idea of being able to call Sweetie my Husband and Cutie #1 and #2 my bonus children. I love the idea that we will be an "official" family.

Yes, I am a hopeless romantic when it comes to the idea of marriage and I love that Sweetie really is too, when it gets down the heart of it. Don't get me wrong, proposing to me was a surprise to Sweetie too. He didn't think that he would want to get married again after his first marriage went horribly wrong. So, he really surprised himself when he asked me.

Now that I've been asked, I have been thinking non stop about that perfect dress. My big requirement is that the dress needs to be affordable because I plan on "trashing" my wedding dress during the big day and I have no intention of trashing a dress that cost more than $200.00! That being said, I still want a dress that looks good and have been looking at all sorts of resources. So far, I think the David's Bridal 99.00 sale is probably going to be my best bet, since I live near one and will be able to try on dresses before I spend.

I'm wondering if any of YOU have trashed your wedding dresses? If so, how did you do it?

Holey Cow--I'm getting MARRIED!

2010-08-04T08:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, well, there's been a few big changes going on. #1: I left D in March, #2: I started dating my high school sweetheart in April, and #3: high school sweetie proposed this month. Yup, you read it right. I am now an ENGAGED woman who is gonna be a bonus mom! I'm super excited, but nervous too!

Sweetie and I have no specific wedding plans yet, but we do know that we want to get married on horseback. Both of us are horse lovers so it seems pretty natural for us. We don't have a date determined, but we do know that we want to wait until his brother and nephew are back from overseas.

I am in awe at how Sweetie could determine that he wanted to marry me in so little time when D told me I was pressuring him when I brought the topic up a year and a half ago. I guess it just shows that when you know it's right, you know it's right. I'm trying hard to concentrate on normal life right now, but I find that I am really thinking a whole lot about my up and coming bonus mom status and what the big day will be like.

I find myself daydreaming about how to involve Sweetie's children, Cutie #1 and Cutie #2, and I'm trying to figure out what my role as bonus momma really will be. I'm thinking of taking some vacation time off of work this month so I can have a few extra special bonding days with Cutie #1 and #2. Any ideas for some fun bonding time?

The good, the bad, the ugly

2010-05-11T10:52:00.000-07:00

Well, well, it's been awhile and there have been some definite changes (for the better). With facebook and twitter becomming more popoular, I wonder if this blog is dead. I rarely get time to post because I'm too busy tweeting or spending time on facebook--not so sure a blog is really relevent anymore.

So here's the good:

I grew a pair and decided to stand up for what I want. I took time to evaluate my personal needs and decided that it was time to, as my dad puts it, "stop being someone's door mat." Specifically, I decided to stop being D's door mat. Over the past 12 years I slowly let parts of me slip away. I worked hard to defend something that did not feel right to me and ended up betraying myself along the way.
I reconnected with an old boyfriend and what a time I've had with him! We're seeing an aweful lot of each other and I sure love it. I was awefully bitter about relationships and love for awhile and spent a good many years living almost a lie. It's amazing for me to feel something so real and feels so right. It's been a long time since I have been this happy.
I trying lots of new things since my break up with D and I've gotten back into doing things that I used to do but gave up when I was dating D.

And here's the bad:

Well, I've lost a few "friends" in the whole break up with D ordeal. It will take time for them to heal, after all, D and I were together for 12 years. This has been about as close to a divorce as an unmarried couple can go through.
Khaiya is very sick. The vet is thinking it could be cancer. This could be moving from bad to ugly very soon.

Finally, the ugly:

I was booted from a wedding party with out even being told about it! I found out through the bridal store!!!!

The quest for real food

2010-01-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

I don't really do New Year's Resolutions. I used to "make them" and then I would fail miserably. I do set goals, however, and I must admit, I am fantastic at that. This year, I have made the goal to eat at least 1 REAL food per day. My long to term goal is to move into "clean eating." This will be a slow process, but I would like work towards phasing out "food products" all together.

What do I mean by a "real" food? I mean a food with very little processing and ingredients I can pronounce. I mean getting back to food in a state that is relatively close to natural state. I do not mean RAW. I do not mean, "no more sweets or treats." I do not mean becoming some sort of weird fanatic. I just want to eat food that is better for me and for me, personally, that means food with less chemicals.

For instance, I used to buy Campbell's Tomato Soup. The ingredients: Tomato Puree (Water, Tomato Paste)Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Wheat Flour, Salt, Vegetable Oil (Corn, Cottonseed, Canola and/or Soybean)Flavoring, Ascorbic Acid, and Citric Acid. I was feeling okay about my original choice until I read these four words: High Fructose Corn Syrup. Really? High Fructose Corn Syrup in Tomato soup? I know, I know, I know. It's EVERYWHERE and really the research is conflicted on this stuff. However, why does my tomato soup need it?

Now, I choose to buy Dei Fratelli Tomato Soup. The ingredients: Tomatoes, Wheat Flour, Sugar, Soy Bean Oil, Sea Salt, Dehydrated Onion, Peppers, Dehydrated Garlic, Vinegar, Citric Acid. Contains Wheat. I feel much more comfortable about these ingredients. Number 1, there are less of them. Number 2, I know what all of these things are. Yes, there is sugar my tomato soup and my preference would really be to find a version with no sugar in it. But, somehow, I just feel better about actual sugar versus a modified sugar like high fructose corn syrup.

I can find fruit, vegetables, and fresh meats quite easily. However, when I think REAL meat, I prefer to buy from a local farmer and not support the factory farming industry. Particularly, I will join a CSA to help with that those particular foods (fruit, veggies, meat, eggs). Bread items I'm purchasing locally from Gunkel's Bakery. The tricky part comes with "convenience foods." These are the foods that tend to be overly processed. For me to start avoiding these will be a slow process, and indeed, that is why my goal is ONE real food per day.

Do you have ideas or tips for eating more "real" food?

Look out, here I come 2010!

2009-12-31T08:02:00.000-08:00

Well, tonight's the night. It's the end of a decade and what a decade it's been. A lot has happened the past year, let alone the past ten years. I'm going to do a top ten list of sorts for the 10 biggest things that happened (at least in my world) over the past 10 years. This was a challenging exercise for me and made me wonder--am I really living life to the fullest if I had a hard time coming up with significant experiences over the past 10 years? I was hoping to come up with things like, this was the year I went to x or did y, but most of my significant events have to do with degrees or work. Although I look that this and feel professionally accomplished, I also feel a little socially sad.

2000
Completed my term of service as an AmeriCorps Member. My experience with AmeriCorps strengthened my love of volunteering and helping others.
2001
Began working for the Wisconsin Early Autism Project. This began my passion for helping children on the Autism Spectrum.
2002
Not much happening, this year, I guess.
2003
Not much happening here either. . . .
2004
Graduated from UWRF with my Bachelor's Degree and David and I got our first (and only) apartment together.
2005
Began my Master's Degree. Started working for Cap Services and have had many adventures with them since.
2006
Not much happening this year, started, Play for life Blog, which was in a much different direction than it is now.
2007
Finished my Master's Degree with the University of Phoenix. I also was 21 lbs lighter and began my love affair with Hedgehogs. In July, I brought home Cringer, my first Hedgehog.
2008
I started my Ph.D!
2009
I enjoyed lots of traveling to places such as The Bahamas, Hawaii, Washington, and Pennsylvania.

So, what does 2010 hold for me?

One year ago, today. . .well, almost!

2009-12-05T16:14:00.000-08:00

So. . .every once in awhile, I do something I like to call, "One Year Ago Today." I checked back in my blog and I didn't have anything specific for December 5, 2008. In fact, I didn't have much of anything for my blog last year. I spent a lot of time writing in my Early Childhood Blog, but not so much here. So my year ago recap is actually for December 15, 2008, and if you're interested, here's a link to December 1 of 2007!

So. . .let's update what I commented just about a year ago:

Dad and his funky blogs: well, he posts sometimes. . . life gets busy for him and he forgets to make time to write. However, there was a feature written about his homestead in Country Side Magazine.

Work: I mentioned that work was going fine. Well, work is doing better than fine. Work is GREAT. I took a promotion as the Special Services Manager. If you want to know what that all entails, I wrote a little about it here.

School: I lamented about the life of a Ph.D student. It is STILL hard and I don't expect it to get easy anytime soon. My social life is suffering severely but I'm okay with that. Besides, my friends all know I'm a big geek anyway. :-)

David: It was about this time last year that David moved into the glass department. He has a bit of mixed feelings about work right now. Mostly feelings of anxiety. Several people were laid off where he works and everyone was moved to the first shift. He fears that there may be a second layoff happening in the future, however a friend claims that this can't happen because of the size of the layoff. I don't know employment law, but I'm pretty sure his friend is full of **it.

Ahh summer

2009-08-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

Ah Summer! Where did you go? Yes, the warm weather is here, but now I'm back to work! The school year has started and I'm toiling away in my office and out on home visits. On a positive note, I have received a promotion. I can't wait to transition into my new position!

All in all, things are well. How are you all????

As if I am not at the computer enough already. . .

2009-04-07T04:18:00.000-07:00

I am now on Twitter.

Spring cleaning

2009-03-24T04:44:00.000-07:00

I learned something new today. . .it is national spring cleaning day. Get those mops out folks.

Not a new thing or something I have tried. . . .but interesting

2009-03-08T08:37:00.000-07:00

Someone REALLY loves their cat.

28/365

2009-03-07T21:09:00.001-08:00

I learned of a new use for technology. See it here.

Happiness

2009-03-07T21:04:00.001-08:00

27/365

2009-01-30T18:42:00.000-08:00

I learned about the Platinum Rule.

26/365

2009-01-30T18:24:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed a horrible movie called The FEAST 2. It was so awful that it was great!

Daily gratitude: I am thankful for the family that I have and that I did not grow up in the same conditions many of my students have had to.

25/365

2009-01-30T18:23:00.001-08:00

Almost 30 days of new stuff! Wow!!!!!

I bought a swim suit online for my summer trip to the Bahamas. I only paid 8.00 for it too!!!

Daily gratitude: sales!

24/365

2009-01-30T18:22:00.000-08:00

I discovered a cool online radio station called Pandora.

Daily gratitude: sleeping in!

23/365

2009-01-24T15:42:00.001-08:00

I finally went to a training about being a supervisor that I felt like learned something that I could actually use!!!!!!!!

I'm grateful to understand the personalities of my employees better.

22/365

2009-01-24T15:39:00.000-08:00

I took time to straighten my hair today. Good bye waves, hello sleekness!

Daily gratitude: I'm grateful that my financial aid came in finally!

21/365

2009-01-24T15:37:00.000-08:00

I stopped eating before I became to full at a restaurant. This meant that I left food on my plate and did not feel guilty about it!

Daily gratitude: Leaving a restaurant not feeling stuffed!!!

20/365

2009-01-24T15:34:00.000-08:00

I bought a new tea today, Yogi Coca Spice. It's quite yummy and has a nice chocolate taste.

Daily gratitude: I have many warm blankets!!!!

19/365

2009-01-24T15:32:00.000-08:00

I tried a new restaurant today, Camille's sidewalk cafe. It was very good. If you haven't tried it yet, I suggest it.

Daily gratitude: treats!

18/365

2009-01-24T15:30:00.001-08:00

I bought a recycled phone. My current phone is working sporadically now, so I thought I would upgrade to something else.

Daily gratitude: ebay!

A little catching up to do!!!!

2009-01-18T09:05:00.000-08:00

I'm going to do this in one post, so here we go!

11/365--I discovered a neat-o band, Dengue Fever. It sort of has an old feel to it and reminds me of something that should go in a Quentin Tarantino flick. I don't understand a word of what they are singing about, but I just kinda dig it. There was also a documentary made about them.

12/365--Yum-O. I discovered yet another tastey treat to boost my fiber intake (I'm a little obsessed with fiber). They're called Fiber Plus and Kellogs makes them.

13/365---I'm going to be doing some traveling soon where I will have no choice but to fly. I read the LA times to get some good ideas about travel deals. Oh, I also threw a minor temper tantrum at work. That was a new one for me too!

14/365--I braved -40 to get to work. I don't think I've done that before!

15/365--I gracefully accepted a dinner invitation from my aunt and uncle.

16/365--I did NO homework or work related things for my job on a Saturday. This isn't really a FIST for me, I used to do this all the time, however it is the FIRST time in about a year that I have been able to say that I've done that.

17/365--I took the person's laundry out of the dryer that has been sitting in there since 8:30 and holding up me getting my laundry finished. Generally, I would have just left it there and postponed doing my laundry, but NOT today!

10/365

2009-01-11T09:12:00.000-08:00

Today I tried a Vanilla RoobiosTea Latte. Yes. . .at Starbucks. Yes, I realize this is not the "little guy." The "little guy," apparently has a life and unfortunately is NOT open on Sunday. ;-) It was really good!!!

Daily gratitude: I'm thankful I made it to the gym today!

9/365

2009-01-11T09:07:00.000-08:00

This one is for Saturday! Today I started really looking at purchasing airline tickets for my Residencies for school. My first one is going to be in Lansdowne, VA in March. I'm excited!!!! Lansdowne is very close to Washington, DC. So I'm excited to have this opportunity to do some sight seeing in this area!

Daily gratitude: My Hello Kitty Checking account is NOW open!

8/365

2009-01-11T09:05:00.000-08:00

Okay--I'm a few days behind here! Today's new thing was driving a new, long, scenic, route to work.

Daily gratitude: I'm thankful for having flexible Fridays at work!

7/365

2009-01-08T06:18:00.000-08:00

My new thing: Actually resting on the couch when I'm sick.

Daily gratitude: I'm thankful for sick time.

6/365

2009-01-06T05:40:00.001-08:00

Today I explored the magazine, "Psychology Today." I surfed in after someone pointed me to this article. I found all sorts of interesting things on this website and it will now be one of my bookmarks.

Daily gratitude: I am thankful that I follow the FISH! Philosophy!

5/365

2009-01-06T05:35:00.000-08:00

Today I explored some new music. I went to National Geographic and typed in "world music." What I ended up with was a whole page of music that I really enjoyed!

Daily gratitude: I am thankful for David and the sweet little things he does to show he cares. (Dishes done and garbage out!!!)

4/365

2009-01-04T14:24:00.000-08:00

Today I did TWO new things (a) I went to Barnes and Noble and did NOT buy anything and (b) I read a new magazine called Organic Beauty. I found some really neat handbags (did I not tell you that I had an obsession with them?) made of tractor inner tubes that were GORGEOUS. I loved them so much I might save my pennies and get one. They are made by Passchal and they run about 200.00 (so I'll be saving for awhile).

Daily gratitude: I am thankful for wonderful friends and family.

3/365

2009-01-04T06:02:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, I did something small. I tried something new off the El Mezcal menu, where I order the exact same thing every time I go in (taco salad and a diet Coke). This time, I ordered the Mexican Chilli and cheese quesodilla. Both were excellent. I even changed up my drink and had water! So, today's new thing wasn't something exciting per se, but it was new, so it qualifies!

Daily Gratitude: I am thankful for being able to watch unique and interesting tv on the internet. Such as, the documentary series, POV.

2/365

2009-01-02T19:47:00.000-08:00

Today my new thing to try was to NOT bring any work home! I left all my work at school today!

Gratitude: Thick, heavy, lotion for my dry, dry, dry skin.

Day 1/365

2009-01-01T10:12:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of trying something new. Today, I did went to the gym only to find out it was closed for the holiday. Usually, I would just say, "Oh well," and maybe get in a walk (okay. . usually, I would just go back home, pop open the fridge, and see what I could find to eat). Today, I decided that my new thing would be to actually use one of the (many) unopened workout dvds that I have sitting here at home. Today I decided to try YOGA.

Daily Gratitude:
I am grateful for my morning cup of coffee!

2008-12-31T21:14:00.001-08:00

New! (and improved?)

2008-12-31T19:22:00.001-08:00

I've decided that I want to try something new in my blog for the next 365 days. Every day I am going to try something new and log my adventure here. It might be something little or it might be something big. I'm not the first person to decide to do this. This person found 367 new things to do in 2008. This person also tried 365 new things in 2008. Tomorrow will mark the first day of trying something new!

Along with trying something new, I'm also going to log one thing I'm grateful for daily. Authors have been writing entire books about why it's good to keep a grateful journal. Even Oprah has hopped on the gratitude journal bandwagon. I'm just going to do it because I think it will help me stay centered through the year.

So tomorrow is a new day and a new year. I'll be living every day by trying something new and being thankful! Happy new year to you all!

Stuff!

2008-12-27T10:27:00.000-08:00

I wanna take a minute to write about "stuff." I, of all people, probably should not be preaching to others about not buying what one does not need. After all, I LOVE gadgets, a high quality hand bags, and shoes! I am the first to admit that I have more of all of these things than I really need. So. . .as you can see, for me to tell YOU, that YOU shouldn't buy more stuff is a little bit hypocritical.

Here's the kicker to my love of stuff--I am sooooooooooo frugal. I compare prices on everything (including those gadgets). If I can get my stuff at Goodwill or a garage sale, I do. I search forums, read reviews, and pretty much never buy anything full price if I don't have to. I love to barter with friends and I have ended up with some pretty cool stuff that way!

I think my level of frugality is what is saving me right now. I have always been frugal, so even when times were good, I was doing the exact same thing I am doing now. Yes, I do love "stuff." I have a penchant for handbags, shoes, and those darn gadgets. But. . . . . I don't run out on a whim and buy, buy, buy. I don't listen to commercials to tell me what I want. I rarely make impulse purchases (point in hand, I researched for almost two years before I decided to buy a hedgehog).
So although I can't tell you to stop buying or that you really don't need that Gucci bag, what I can tell you is that you should shop wisely. Be smart. Shop around. Compare prices for that high end item you want. Barter. And don't let corporations tell YOU what YOU want!!!

A year in review--2008

2008-12-21T17:10:00.001-08:00

I'm doing my 2nd annual, "A year in review" a little bit early. So, let's recap some of the goals I set for myself for 2008. I wanted to reach my weight loss goal. Check. I'm there and I'm on way past it! I wanted to start my Ph.D. Check. Started it in October. So far, so good. I wanted to work on my personal mission statement. Check. It's not done, but slowly getting revised. All in all, my year was pretty good. I had some ups and downs. Here are a few highlights:

I left a job I really liked to try a new venture that turned out to not be quite up my alley.
I took on some leadership roles within my NAEYC affiliate and WECA. Yeah!
I did have some sad times. There were some deaths and illnesses this year.

So--what's to come this year? What do I want to do with myself? To be honest I'm not sure. A few things come to mind.

Pay off at least one of my debts and close the account.
Maintain my weight loss.
Weight lift at least 2x per week.
Continue work on the Ph.D.
Begin working at my DPI License for Early Childhood Special Education

Dyslexic?

2008-12-19T19:38:00.000-08:00

I'm hearing rumblings that I may be a tad Dyslexic. I'm not sure what I want to do with that information, but it certainly would explain some things from my younger years!

My Dad, My Dad, My Dad is on FIRE!!!

2008-12-15T19:11:00.001-08:00

Well, the blogging obsession runs in the family! My dad now has two of his own blogs. He blogs about living simply and off the grid. If that sounds up your alley, make sure you stop by and say hello!!!

In other news . . . . . .
Work: going fine, the kids are fun, a few behavioral challenges, and staffing is a-okay at this point
School: Ph.D life is HARD. I spend a lot of time on the couch with my laptop.
David: He moved into the glass department at work. So far, so good.

That's about it!!!

Happy Turkey Day and Buy Nothing Today

2008-11-30T08:42:00.000-08:00

Well. . . I messed up on Buy Nothing Day. I got it wrong. Really, really wrong. I thought buy nothing day was TODAY. Really, it was the day after Thanksgiving. I shopped like mad the day after Thanksgiving, but I did not run over, push, or maim anyone! To atone for my blunder, I'm declaring today as "Rachael's Buy Nothing Day!" So far I'm off to a good start. Coffee at home? Check! Breakfast at home? Check! No frivolous spending? Check!

Creepy, yet oddly enjoyable

2008-11-04T18:05:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's because I have a scorpion. . . . . named REAPER.

Just in case . . . . .

2008-11-04T17:41:00.000-08:00

You were curious. I know I was.

What can be better than??????????????

2008-11-04T17:30:00.000-08:00

The "Dad Saddle?" You won't be disappointed. I promise.

It's been awhile

2008-11-04T04:25:00.000-08:00

Yeah. I know, I know. I've been a bad friend. I haven't been there for you. But you know, you haven't called either! ;-)

For your viewing pleasure. Some one obviously has a little too much time on his or her hands.

Pumpkin patch and such

2008-10-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

This evening we went to the Pumpkin patch for work. The kids LOVED it. It was rainy and cold, but it didn't matter. Smiles were abundant! So far the transition back to my old job has gone well. The parents are receiving me well and it's nice to be back in a classroom. I missed it.

I'm still on the hunt for a lap top. I've got some good choices narrowed down. . . it's just making that final decision. I'm going to opt for something a little bit more expensive than I planned for so I can make it last. I've received lots of good suggestions so hopefully I can get decisive sometime soon!

Next week I'm speaking at WECA and I'm pretty excited about that. It's my biggest conference yet, so I'm a little nervous. Hopefully, it will go better than my speaking engagement in Stevens Point. . . .that one was a huge flop. They can't all be awesome, I guess.

The hunt for a new laptop

2008-09-21T08:06:00.000-07:00

Okay folks, the Ph.D is about ready to get in full swing. I even have my own blog about the Ph.D experience. Why? Well, I'm addicted to blogging. Hardy, har, har. Anyhoo. . .since I'm going to spending some time writing, I "need" a new laptop. I got rid of my other one after I finished my Master's degree thinking I wouldn't need one again. Well. . .here I am. Anyway--I'm looking for ideas and suggestions. Help me out here, people!

Progress

2008-09-07T09:43:00.000-07:00

I wanted to document where I am with the goals I set on December 30th of last year. Things are actually moving along pretty well. I applied and have been accepted into a Ph.D program! I will start in the next few weeks. I'm also inching closer to my weight loss goal. I'm only about three lbs. away from 40 lbs gone! So. . . now I just need to keep plugging away and work on my mission statement! Despite my health challenges, it's been a fruitful year so far!

Yes. . . .it's true!

2008-09-07T09:18:00.000-07:00

Yes--it's true. I've resigned from my current job. There were a number of reasons why, but the main being that I've had more flare ups with my Lyme's since I began working there. I completely underestimated how the level of stress in that type of position would affect me. So this brings me to the question. . . . .what now? Not in terms of work, but in terms of Lyme's. I hear so many mixed up things. I've done some things with my diet in the past, but my flare ups are so staggered it is difficult to tell when something works and when something does not. Also, my Lyme tests always show up as "non conclusive" and no test is every completely reliable, so the doctor that I currently have basically tells me that I'm stuck like this. Stuck with the flare ups that just sort of appear as they wish. I say I'm too young to be stuck in this sort of position. I believe that I need to be a bit more aggressive at this point and start connecting with some other folks with Lyme. Perhaps then I can get some real treatment.

A little swelling. A little fatigue.

2008-09-04T19:10:00.000-07:00

I'm just documenting that yesterday the swelling began in my left knee again. Today I'm experiencing jaw tenderness and fatigue also. The weather is cool today, so no weather correlation. My stress level is high because I'm smack in the middle of getting things in order because I've resigned from my current position.

Lions and Tigers and Black Bean Brownies! Oh My!!!

2008-09-01T12:22:00.001-07:00

Well, I've done the amazing. At least it will be to those of you who REALLY know me and know my deep loathing of taking time to cook. At home. In the actual kitchen. With the oven. Okay, well you get the point.

I bit the big one today and, drum roll please, cooked. In fact, I baked. I baked Black Bean Brownies today, which, I might add, are not the least bit yucky. Part of my sudden desire to get into the kitchen was motivated by chocolate (I wanted some. . .badly, but didn't want to blow a ton of points). The other part was due to budgetary reasons. My student loans are going to start kicking in real soon if I don't start that Ph.D of mine. That means, I really need to curb back the eating out and the scale of prepackaged "food" items I purchase. I actually found a website that proves it's even cheaper to cook at home versus going to the (YUCK) fast food joints and ordering off the dollar menu.

The verdict? The Black bean brownies are not too shabby. The texture is fudgie, which is how I like brownies anyway. I should have used a small pan and I used an 8x11, which made my brownies thinner than what I would like. So. . . next time I'll try a smaller pan. Now, will they fool someone into thinking they've got a regular, full fat brownie? No. Are they a good substitute? Yup and they've got lots of fiber! For my first Black bean brownie experiement, I went for the version where only a brownie mix and a can of black beans is blended together. Next time, I may get brave and make it "from scratch."

Think you're poor?

2008-08-31T12:27:00.000-07:00

Do you think things are looking bad right now? Are you financially stretched? Well, take a look at this and think again.

I knew there was a reason I wanted to cut processed food out of my diet

2008-08-28T18:45:00.000-07:00

Find out why here.

Now. . look into my eyes!

2008-08-25T04:30:00.000-07:00

I love StumbleUpon. Have you tried it? Anyway, while stumbling through several pages last night, I came across a few that I have to link to and blog about. So, here we go. . . . . . . .

I'm just going to call this one, "The Spinning Thingy." It's delight for your eyes. . .or it will make you sick. Enjoy!
Pass the ball--where you, surprise of all surprises, pass the ball. It's a good time waster.
Who is on the Nickle? There's a striking resemblance to a "beloved" action hero!
Do you dream of having your voice projected through Norway? If so, be sure to visit here.
Some one, some where will be offended by this.

Well, it's obvious that there are, at least, six people out there who have way more time on their hands than I do!

Now THAT'S a grill!

2008-08-24T08:56:00.000-07:00

The swelling, the swelling, the swelling

2008-08-23T13:31:00.000-07:00

I'm having a definite Lyme's flare-up and I'm going to use this post to basically document it.

This flare-up started on Wednesday, August 20th. I felt tired and wore out after a good night's rest. I work up not feeling well, went to work anyway, and then turned around at 9:30 and stayed in bed the rest of the day. I returned on Thursday despite having a slight fever and sore throat, paired with my left knee beginning to swell again. I want to also note that the outside temperature was increasing and there were reports of storms on the way. Friday was more of the same, with increased swelling in my knee. Finally, a repeat of the previous day's health today.

I have begun to notice a correlation with the weather and my flare-ups. As I look back in my blogs relating to knee issues, the weather is a generally a common theme.

A new hedgie!

2008-08-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

I'm excited to announce I've adopted a new hedgehog, Khaiya. I'll post some photos soon. She's very sweet and friendly. It's nice to have a pet in the house again.

Happier life

2008-08-15T04:06:00.000-07:00

This came to me from Exchange Every Day, an Early Childhood publication that I read. I thought about posting it only in my Early Childhood blog, but I thought you all would appreciate it too. Enjoy!

In her article, "Rx for Happiness" in Pink Magazine (July-August, 2008) Michele Cohen Marill outlines "10 Steps to a Happier Life":

1. Count your blessings. Name three things that went well today.
2. Consider what you have. List three things that you appreciate about your life.
3. Express thanks. Write a letter to someone who made an impact on your life.
4. Play to your strengths. List your top three strengths.
5. Make love count. Set aside time to spend with your partner.
6. Look on the bright side. Write a story about your "best future self."
7. Find meaning in your work. List three reasons you feel passionate about your work, or how
your work contributes to the greater good.
8. Do a good deed. Practice acts of kindness to those you care about as well as to strangers.
9. Make positive connections. Smile at someone you pass on the street or in the elevator.
10. Do what you love. When you do something you enjoy, you will naturally drift into a satisfying "sense of flow."

You won't be sorry

2008-08-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

Randy Pausch Passed Away

2008-07-29T19:57:00.000-07:00

A wonderful, positive being passed away over the weekend. His name is Randy Pausch and he had pancreatic cancer. If you not read, or heard, The Last Lecture, it is truly something you NEED to look at. There is a wonderful amount of information on his website, however, don't be surprised if you can't get on over the next few days because of high traffic.

Camp Teen Angel

2008-07-28T08:45:00.001-07:00

Wow--this has sure been a busy summer. I've had something going on just about every weekend and I've actually had to change my WW meeting times because of this. This weekend, I volunteered as a chaperon at Camp Teen Angel. This camp is part of the many programs and offerings from Angel on My Shoulder. The camp was held at the Camp Manito-wish Leadership Center, which is just gorgeous. We had 15 campers this time around and it was a very nice group. The highlight of camp was our trip to Pirate's Hideaway. I took many photos, which can be viewed here. Things look they'll be slowing down for awhile, until "conference season" starts!

Thank my Dad!

2008-07-22T18:31:00.001-07:00

My Dad tipped me off to this little ditty. Enjoy.

In case of emergency

2008-07-11T05:04:00.000-07:00

If you're tickled by that one, click here. And, if those don't quiet suit you, stop here for something REALLY odd.

The Hair Cut

2008-07-06T14:19:00.000-07:00

I've been slowly cutting my hair. I'm trying to get rid of a perm that has run past it's prime. It started with a few inches about a month ago and then another couple of inches about two weeks ago. Finally, I'd had enough on the 4th and I just hacked the rest off. Take a peek and let me know what you think!

Vacation

2008-06-30T19:22:00.001-07:00

An outdoor art installation, originally uploaded by rachaelsherfield.

I'm back from Chicago. It was certainly an adventure. David and I did enjoy ourselves at the zoo and aquarium. As always, the Beluga Whales at the Shedd were my favorite critters.

The traffic, well, that was another story! Taste of Chicago and a Cubs game were in full force when we decided to venture out of Schaumberg and into Chicago. Several of the roads that map quest said we should use were closed.

Overall, it was a fun trip and pretty inexpensive. We did this trip on the cheap by agreeing to attend a sales presentation for Star Vacation Club. Before I went, I googled this organization. I read many awful things and I was fully ready to have some sort of scam attempt occur. We were promised the following things for agreeing to the presentation (a) hotel stay for one night at a holiday inn, (b) reimbursement for up to 25.00 at a restaurant, and (c) reimbursement for up to 50.00 in gas. I will mail in my receipts tomorrow and we'll see how long the reimbursement takes. I was immediately presented with our hotel coupon and that worked out just fine.

We, of course, declined to join the vacation club, but were given our "rewards" just the same. The whole thing went just fine. I have to say, however, I did not see any sort of scam going on. The group was very up front. "Yes, this IS a sales presentation." "Yes, we do want you to buy." They did not pressure us and did take "no" for an answer. That being said, if you are a person who REALLY likes to travel this would be a very good thing for you. The trips and vacations they can offer are VERY inexpensive and they will match prices--so if you find it cheaper they will match it.

David and I are going to Florida and the Bahamas next year. Had we not placed a deposit on our trip, this would have been a VERY good way for us to choose to travel.

Watch it.

2008-06-26T21:25:00.000-07:00

I'm gettin' out my fancy sunglasses

2008-06-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

Well all, I'm leaving for my vacation tomorrow. I am thrilled that I finally got my new box of contact lenses so I can wear my FANCY sunglasses! I'll post vacation photos next week!

A fresh start

2008-06-25T19:17:00.001-07:00

There might be a time that you're just unhappy and want to start over. What do you do? Well, start over. Literally. A life for sale.

A fun place to be

2008-06-14T12:02:00.001-07:00

I stopped by my bloggy-friend, C's, other blog, Green is Her New Blog, today. I guess, technically, it's not HER blog, but a blog that she contributes to along with some other bloggy-folks out there. Neat-o idea! I'm wondering how many of us out here have multiple blogs. I'll admit it, I have SEVERAL. One could consider my blogging to be somewhat of an addiction. David does, I'm certain. In case you're not certain if you're addicted to blogging, here's a little test for you.

77%

Created by OnePlusYou

You! Sit down and think about what you've done!

2008-05-21T04:37:00.001-07:00

Here are 15 things that YOU should be thinking about.

Meow!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-21T04:35:00.001-07:00

Something for you cat lovers.

A little bit creepy, but oddly enjoyable

2008-05-04T17:38:00.000-07:00

You know you're curious now. Click here.

Just in case you're having a week like I've had

2008-05-04T14:41:00.000-07:00

If you need a little cheering up (as I did this week), click here.