Current mood: thoughtful
So. . .I'm feeling pretty old these days. I mean--I feel YOUNG (much younger than most folks my age I guess) but my body feels like it should starting feeling OLD. Gettin' closer to 30. I know my brain is feeling old because I OVERTHINK everything. UGH.
Not married. Same man for N-I-N-E years! Okay. . . so I really like that part. I mean, he and I have our ups and downs but 99% things are awesome. We balance each other. He's quite and reserved. I'm LOUD, outwardly PLAYFUL. . . . . . .we're a good fit.
Anyway, I look back on my life and I think about all the things that I am thankful and happy for but I also think about all the areas where I don't have closure. Things that I started but got lost along the way. I had so many visions of what my life SHOULD have been and I can't help but see what it isn't. There are so many things that I am grateful for.
So many things that I love. David. My Dad. My career. My educational goals. I'm breaking free from a LOT of debt that I accumulated. My friends.
But there are so many things that are still nagging at me. Did I make my mother proud? Will my brothers ever connect with my dad again? Will always be stuck in the middle? Have I done enough to help the children I serve? Will I ever get out of this county and see what is REALLY out there? Ph.D? Have I made enough mistakes in life to REALLY learn my lesson or have I made TOO many? Do I REALLY "sweat the small stuff" as my dad says? Can I make myself stop that?
hmmm. . . . . I guess that's enough thinking for now! Don't want to hurt myself! hardy har har har har
Currently listening : The Dutchess By Fergie Release date: By 19 September, 2006